i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
