Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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