I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Alive.
So much puke
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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