yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
