just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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