Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's never too late to be topless.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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