Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
