Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
