that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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