8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
