That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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