I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
