I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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