I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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