have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
When did angry sex become our thing?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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