felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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