you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Congratulations! We have a period
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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