Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
