I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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