i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
