It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
