how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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