Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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