it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I need a burrito and a hug.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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