I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
