i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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