Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She announced her abortion via fbk
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
