He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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