he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
