I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
