Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Randomize
