I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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