If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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