Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
