We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
