I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
