how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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