I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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