I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
