hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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