i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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