Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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