Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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