Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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