I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
