wakey wakey hands off snakey
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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