Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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