no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
