Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
