So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
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