Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
