I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
