Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
