Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
